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When I was just a lad looking for my true vocation
My father said "Now son, this choice deserves deliberation
Though you could be a doctor or perhaps a financier
My boy why not consider a more challenging career"
Hey ho ho
You'll cruise to foreign shores
And you'll keep your mind and body sound
By working out of doors
True friendship and adventure are what we can't live without
And when you're a professional pirate
That's what the job's about
Now take Sir Francis Drake, the Spanish all despise him
But to the British he's a hero and they idolize him
It's how you look at buccaneers that makes them bad or good
And I see us as members of a noble brotherhood
Hey ho ho
We're honorable men
And before we lose our tempers we will always count to ten
On occasion there may be someone you have to execute
But when your a professional pirate
You don't have to wear a suit.....
Some say that pirates steal and should be feared and hated
I say we're victims of bad press it's all exaggerated
We'd never stab you in the back, we'd never lie or cheat
We're just about the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet
Hey ho ho
It's one for all for one
And we'll share and share alike with you and love you like a son
We're gentlemen of fotune and that's what we're proud to be
And when your a professional pirate
You'll be honest brave and free
The soul of decency
You'll be loyal and fair and on the square
And most importantly
When you're a professional pirate
You're always in the best of company
Well I used to be a farmer, and I made a living fine,
I had a little stretch of land along the city line
But times went by and though I tried, the money wasn't there
And bankers came and took my land and told me "fair is fair"
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
"Hire you now?" they'd always laugh, "we just let twenty go!" (Ha-haa!)
The government, they promised me a measly little sum
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum.
Then I thought, who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone?
I'm gonna be a PIRATE on the river Saskatchewan!!!
Cause it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
And It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
Well, you'd think the local farmers would know that I'm at
large,
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser,
I rammed their ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer!
A bridge outside of Moosejaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a'quiver
Cause they know that Captain Tractor's hiding in the bay
I'll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay!
And it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
Well, Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He followed on the shoreline cause he didn't own a boat
But the cutbacks were a'coming and the Mountie lost his job
And now he's sailing with us, and we call him Salty Bob!
A swingin' sword, a skull and bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the GST (SCREW IT!!)
Sailing down to Saskatoon, the terror of the seas
If you wanna reach the co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!
(HA-HARR!!)
It's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
And It's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
(*spoken* Arrrr! Ya salty dog!)
(*spoken* Arrrr! Ya salty gopher!)
(*spoken* Arr.. ya.. salty bale of hay!)
Well, the Pirate life's appealing but you just don't find it here,
I hear in north Alberta there's a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabaska from Smith to Fort McKay
And you're gonna loose your stetson if you have to pass their
way!
Well, winter is a'comin' and a chill is in the breeze
My Pirate days are over once the river starts to freeze
But I'll be back in springtime but now I have to go
I hear there's lots of plundering down in New Mexico!
And it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
And it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
And it's a heave-ho, hi-ho, comin' down the plains
Stealin' wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a ho-hey, hi-hey farmers bar yer doors
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores
When ya see the Jolly Roger on Regina's mighty shores...
(Ha-ha-harr, eh?)
Silly pirates, your days are numbered. Oh wait, I forgot you couldn't count.
Let me put it in pirate-friendly terms then: "Arr, ye be dieing by the katanas and 6-foot boners of the mightiest of enemies ye ever did face: the NINJAS"
Now excuse me while I go rinse my mouth with sake.
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Last edited by Lord Wiener; 09-20-2009 at 06:59 AM.
When you're a professional pirate...
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